Tag Archives: mom

Wordless Wednesday: ACS Quick Change Artist

IMG_0442-American-Cancer-Society-Relay-for-Life-West-Sacramento

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This gal had many outfits to wear during her many laps for American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life in West Sacramento. These are just a few I caught her in…I hear she had an evening gown on at midnight.

Wordless Wednesday: American Cancer Society’s West Sacramento’s Relay for Life “The Quick Change Artist”
 

Everything has its Season

 

Peter Seger and the Byrds sang the song Turn! Turn!Turn! (to Everything there is a Season) in the 1960’s. Peter wrote the song based on the Book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible.

To everything there is a season. And a time to every purpose, under Heaven.
A time to be born, a time to die. A time to plant, a time to reap.
A time to laugh, a time to weep.
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together.
A time of love, a time of hate. A time of war, a time of peace.
A time you may embrace. A time to refrain from embracing.

As young girls we look forward to the time when our body changes and we get to wear our first bra and make-up.
Then we look forward to our driver license and the freedom that comes with that.
College is the next big turning point along with turning 21.

One dream many of us girls have from a very young age is getting married.
We think about our special day. We dream about our wedding gown, who will be in our wedding, the music that will play and about the details of our reception.
We also think about our Prince charming husband and all the wonderful children we will have together.

We know we will get married and have children.
We know we will get old and become grandparents.

Everyone talks about those two important seasons in our life.

No one talks about the season between our children leaving the nest and becoming grandparents

From of very young age we know we will get our license, graduate from college, get married, have children and then have grandchildren.

What people don’t talk about, is the time when us Moms no longer have the children at home.
The time when our children aren’t married and don’t have children yet.

Evertything has its season. My favorite season was when the kids were home and I got to play Mom. No one warned me about the season between kids leaving and becoming a grandparent.

They don’t talk about this weird period for us moms when we  have no responsibilities to our children and have no young ones around to love, nurture and care for.

I am finding this to be a very lonely period of my life.

Children just fill our world with unconditional love, sweetness, and joy.
Children bring happiness into a family.

Grandchildren.

Being needed as a Grandparent.

I never thought about this period of time in my life. Not a thought.

This season of my life is a season no one prepared me for.


I don’t know how long this season will last. I will do my best to make the most of it.

But darn it, I liked being needed! I liked that season of my life the most! More then getting to wear make-up. More then graduating from college. More then getting married. I liked being a Mom to my school aged kids!

To this season in my life!
Pam

Do you struggle with this season? How are you dealing with it?

PS To my dear Sissy, If you happen to read this post it is NOT about pressuring you to have grandbabies. This is all about me and how to deal with the loneliness of not having children around who need me. No pressure here. No pressure! Love you my dear child!

What Goes Around, Comes Around | #150

butterfly with words "What goes around comes around"

365 Day Project: Inspiration

What goes around, comes around.

How many times have we heard this?
These seemed to be my Mom’s favorite last words “What goes around, comes around.”
These words were later adopted by me to my kids “What goes around, comes around.”
Now as a middle aged mom, I quite often find these words repeating in my head when I don’t approve of something “What goes around, comes around.”

What goes around comes around.

I think these words mean if you don’t do the right thing it will come back to haunt you.

I don’t want to be haunted. Even though I feel like I am haunted with these words “What goes around, comes around” whenever I may be tempted to not make the right choice. Even as a middle aged mom, I still find myself haunted by the words that my Mom placed in my head a very long time ago!

Do you have words that your Mom use to tell you that still haunt you today?
 
 

What is My Purpose in Life Now That the Kids are Gone?

Mom and College Boy in front of u-haul van and truck

What is my purpose in life?

I think that is what I should be asking myself.

My purpose in life over the last 28 years was to raise my children.

I took that purpose in life and fulfilled it completely.

I gave it my heart and my soul.

I thought about that purpose every minute of the day over the last 28 years.

I thought about how I was going to handle every situation with my kids.

Ninety-eight percent of the time when there was something that needed to be confronted with my kids, I thought about how I was going to react so I was fulfiling my purpose of making the best out of every situation and conflict.

I thought about what my children’s days, weeks, months and years were going to entail including friends and family time, school, clubs, sports, music lessons, and volunteering.

We all know it takes planning to have our kids involved in activities.

It was my purpose in life to help my kids be good stewards
–with their money
–with their time (not wasting it on TV or video games)
–with their relationship with God.

It was my purpose in life to help them learn how to get along with each other, the family and other people.

It was my purpose in life to help them to recognize their strengths, work on their weaknesses and to know what things just weren’t their thing!

It was my purpose in life to teach them to have class and manners. I began at a very young age to teach Sissy how to be a lady and College Boy how to be a gentleman.

It was my purpose in life to give my children the love of reading. We spent hours and hours sitting reading. I made books that they would be interested in reading always available to them.

It was my purpose in life to teach my children to be humble and kind, to think about the other person and when in doubt to ask themselves, “What would Jesus say or do?”

It was my purpose to teach them how to dress for different events and to have good hygiene.

It was my purpose to teach them the importance of family and to stay in touch with their grandparents. To understand that we don’t know how long we have on this earth.

The list goes on and on….

I absolutely positively loved every minute that I spent fulfilling this purpose in life.

And now as College Boy graduates from college and Sissy enjoys her new life with her New Hubby, it is time for me to redefine my purpose with my children.

My purpose in life for them won’t take my every waking thought and my daily efforts to make sure they are headed on the right road.

My children will now discover for themselves what their purpose is.

Now what do I do???

I need a purpose in life.

I liked focusing on my kids.

I liked giving them the best of me.

I am a little…no, a lot lost now.

Sissy and College Boy

My kids tell me, “Mom you are such a good person. You are a strong woman. You can do anything. You can live any where. You can go and be whatever you want.”

They tell me to embrace this time in my life.

They just don’t understand…No, they do….

They understand how important they are to me.

They understand and appreciate that I made them my purpose in life.

They know that they are who they are today because I made them my purpose in life.

Now….I go on.
I go on struggling.
Struggling big time because now I need to find a new purpose in life and it isn’t easy!!

He Invites a Girl to Dinner

Text message on iphone

College boy texted me the other day

Sooo I invited this girl I met over for dinner tonight, what should I make?

My first response was to pick up the phone and give the ten question run down to him.

  • Who is she?
  • Where did you meet her?
  • Where is she from?
  • Is she in college?
  • What is her Major?
  • What color hair does she have?
  • Where did she grow up?nWhere do her parents live?
  • What is her name?
  • Do you know anything about her up bring and her family?
  • Did you tell her that you plan to have a cottage in your backyard for me when I get old?

Yada! Yada! Yada!

But I didn’t do that!

I just nonchalantly texted back…

Chicken dish with potatoes and Vegies would be good especially if you don’t know what type of food she likes. Chicken is safe.

He texted back

Roger that, wilco. LOL

That is all???

I want more!

I once again nonchalantly texted him…

Text message on iPhone
You should do something for dessert and proceeded to give him some ideas.

He texted back thanks again and that he would….

Darn!

He isn’t going to reveal anything else!

Do I ask?

Nope! Don’t want him to think I am a meddling mother.

I want him to know he can call me anytime to ask a question without the ten questions.

So I wait…

And wait…

That night I wondered…

  • What did he make?
  • How did the dinner go?
  • Was the girl impressed by my college boys exquisite cooking skills?
  • Did she appreciate all the effort he put into that meal?
  • Did he serve dessert?
  • Were his roomies there?
  • Did he have wine? Did he light candles?
  • Did he play appropriate music?
  • Did he make sure to scrub his bathroom?
  • Did he remember to walk her to her car and ask her to call him when she got home?

But I didn’t call.
I didn’t text or email.
I waited…

…and waited.

The next morning I didn’t hear anything from College Boy.

My mind wondered with them questions ( a new list, of course!)

  • Did she come over?
  • How did it go?
  • Did she not like your food?
  • Did she shake her head and say yuck when she walked into the bathroom shared by all the Roomies?
  • Did she give an excuse to not come over for dinner?
  • Did they just have nothing to talk about when she came over that they ate and she left within minutes?

The afternoon came and was almost gone.

I decided I would just send a quick text.

NOTE: I like texting with college boy because I feel I don’t put him on the spot with my questions and he can respond when it is convenient for him. After all, he is in school.

I texted…

Hey, did you have that girl over for dinner?

He texted back…

Yep!

Yep! That is it???

Come on! Can’t you dish out a little more information? After all, you started the conversation! You asked me what to cook!

I proceeded to text again…

How did she like your cooking? Was she impressed?

He proceeded to text me that he made Aunties enchiladas.

Ok, that is good, I thought, Auntie is an amazing cook. I am sure they were delicious.

No more information! Can you believe it? He was not going to divulge any more information to his kind, loving, concerned, un-meddling, PMSing, middle aged, empty nest Mom.

This isn’t the end of this College Boy!!!

I have questions!

I have questions but my motto with my kids is to never be a meddling Mom.

The next day I called him regarding another matter.

Towards the end of the conversation, I said, “How was your dinner the other night?”

“It was nice,” he said with the tone saying more then the words–Yes, it was nice but I have no more to share.

I don’t meddle.

I don’t aks any more questions.

Now it shall all be a distant memory.

I will just have to wait to find out if he had a second date and to find out the answers to all my questions.

Just wait.

This middle aged empty nest PMSing Mom will just wait!

What would you do, Mom’s?

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