Sing It, Doris! Whatever Will Be Will Be!

“Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.”
–Jay Livingston and Ray Evans

I remember Doris Day singing this song when I was a young child. her voice was sweet and comforting. I would dance around the room as I sang along projecting my voice even louder during the chorus which I knew so well.

Today I find myself singing these words once again as I enter a new chapter in my life. Yes, the future is not mine to see and what will be, will be BUT I can help the chapter along a little. I can visualize what I want in my life; it has worked in the past. I know that if I visualize what I want, it will be!

Do you believe this?

 
I also know that I have to contribute my energies to what I might want for my future to be. I need to educate myself for that new job hence I went back to school and received two certificates that i think will contribute to my future career.

I need to be in…or out of a relationship that allows me to be.

I want to write. I want to blog. What do I write about? Will people be interested in what I say? Can I reach out to others with my words? How much personal information do I dare share through my blog?

piano keys

Sing it, Doris,

The future’s not for us to see.
Que Sera, Sera, Whatever will be, will be…”

I don’t know what my future will be. I am going to keep blogging here…looking for my voice. I am going to keep applying for jobs…looking for my new opportunity. I am going to keep praying…asking for God to open the next door. I am going to keep working on my faith. After all, with faith everything will be just as it suppose to be. I am going to keep loving and listening and growing. I am going to keep focusing on what I want in my life.

The question is “What is it that I really want?”

The future’s not ours to see…
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be!

 
Que sera!

Luminaria Ceremony: American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life

There were a lot of children participating in the West Sacramento American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life event. Some who were inflicted with the awful disease but many who had family members that were battling the disease or had lost their life to it. These kids especially touched me as they spoke about their loved ones.

10 year old decorates luminaria bags

One young ten year old especially touched my heart as I was able to work with her at the Luminaria table. She volunteered a few hours decorating bags for loved ones who were not able to decorate their own bags. She had told me about many family members that had cancer. Her aunt got cancer awhile she was pregnant and lost her baby. Her papa whom she was the closest to of all the grandchildren, lost his life to cancer. Her story was of determination to fight the cancer. She knew by giving her time to this event that we would be that much closer to fighting this deadly disease that has impacted her young life.

5 year old carries luminaria bags for Relay for Life

Another little boy, only five years old, he was a doll! He helped us load all the luminaria bags onto the trailer for distribution around the field. He placed each bag so carefully as if he was remembering each person that the bag represented. It was quite amazing to watch. He looked at each bag and was sure to place the artwork in one direction. I later caught up with him awhile he was selling light sticks for the evening show to thank him for his hard work and diligence. He understood why he was at the event. At his young age of five, he had been impacted by the disease. He was there to help fight it.

Kids help at the American Cancer Society Relay for life.

Kids help at the American Cancer Society Relay for life.

Kids help at the American Cancer Society Relay for life.

Many young adults were there lending a helping hand. They were there because they are givers and wanted to help. Yes, Mom and Dads, your young adults have kind hearts. Yes, America, there are good people out there…our kids are not what the news always represents. There is so much more then what we hear on the news. These young adults helped all Friday evening to set up, returned Saturday morning at 6am to help and stayed until 10pm. (I am sure they showed up Sunday to help break everything down, too!) They stayed working…and giving from their heart. They didn’t have to be there. Many of their parents were not there. These young adults were there because they had heard about the event from a friend and decided to be part of the Relay for Life.

Kids help decorate luminaria bags at the American Cancer Society Relay for life.

Another Mom and her young daughter worked with me all day at the luminaria table. They were there because they knew the event volunteer coordinator and she had mentioned the event. They didn’t have any plans that day so they thought they would come out for a few hours to help. They got so wrapped up in the event that they volunteered for 13 hours! From a few hours to 13 hours! Why did they stay that long? They got trapped (in a good way) to the energy of the day. They were surrounded by love and enthusiasm for life and hope…hope that there would be a cure for cancer one day.

There was so much positive energy during the day as the music played in the background and relay groups continued to walk around the track. Some walked in solitude awhile others walked in big groups.

decorated luminaria bags

cancer family member decorates luminaria bag

Did I do a bag for my Dad?  I have to confess I did not. I thought about it. I wanted to do a bag but yet I didn’t. I hadn’t volunteered there because of my Dad. I had volunteered there because of all the other families. Besides I didn’t want to deal with my emotions that day. I was there to serve, to listen, to show compassion. I watched as many people decorated their bags. Some smiled because their bags were in honor of someone who was cancer free for several years. But there was those who you could tell it was hard to sit and write the name of the loved one they had lost…the one they were writing in memory of…. Lots of emotions went into those bags.

This day wasn’t about me.
It wasn’t about my Dad and the cancer he suffers with.

This day was giving, listening and being present for others.

I will come back to this event some day not as a volunteer but as a participant. Some day when I want to honor my Dad for all the cancer battles he has fought…but for this day only….I am thinking about all the other people that are here and the burdens on their heart and in their mind because of this nasty ugly deadly disease.

Yes, during the luminaria ceremony, I shed a tear or two for my Dad but I quickly shut those tears off and focused on all the loved ones that were on that football field…at that moment.

I hope each and everyone of you keep moving forward to helping fight this battle. It would be awesome to say that we have conquered this ugly disease. That the event is now….a Relay of Life NOT a Relay of life to fight cancer.

Thank you to all the volunteers and relay teams for allowing me to experience your stories, your emotions and your love. I will carry your stories in my heart…..

Holding on to HOPE…..

Pam

Everything has its Season

 

Peter Seger and the Byrds sang the song Turn! Turn!Turn! (to Everything there is a Season) in the 1960’s. Peter wrote the song based on the Book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible.

To everything there is a season. And a time to every purpose, under Heaven.
A time to be born, a time to die. A time to plant, a time to reap.
A time to laugh, a time to weep.
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together.
A time of love, a time of hate. A time of war, a time of peace.
A time you may embrace. A time to refrain from embracing.

As young girls we look forward to the time when our body changes and we get to wear our first bra and make-up.
Then we look forward to our driver license and the freedom that comes with that.
College is the next big turning point along with turning 21.

One dream many of us girls have from a very young age is getting married.
We think about our special day. We dream about our wedding gown, who will be in our wedding, the music that will play and about the details of our reception.
We also think about our Prince charming husband and all the wonderful children we will have together.

We know we will get married and have children.
We know we will get old and become grandparents.

Everyone talks about those two important seasons in our life.

No one talks about the season between our children leaving the nest and becoming grandparents

From of very young age we know we will get our license, graduate from college, get married, have children and then have grandchildren.

What people don’t talk about, is the time when us Moms no longer have the children at home.
The time when our children aren’t married and don’t have children yet.

Evertything has its season. My favorite season was when the kids were home and I got to play Mom. No one warned me about the season between kids leaving and becoming a grandparent.

They don’t talk about this weird period for us moms when we  have no responsibilities to our children and have no young ones around to love, nurture and care for.

I am finding this to be a very lonely period of my life.

Children just fill our world with unconditional love, sweetness, and joy.
Children bring happiness into a family.

Grandchildren.

Being needed as a Grandparent.

I never thought about this period of time in my life. Not a thought.

This season of my life is a season no one prepared me for.


I don’t know how long this season will last. I will do my best to make the most of it.

But darn it, I liked being needed! I liked that season of my life the most! More then getting to wear make-up. More then graduating from college. More then getting married. I liked being a Mom to my school aged kids!

To this season in my life!
Pam

Do you struggle with this season? How are you dealing with it?

PS To my dear Sissy, If you happen to read this post it is NOT about pressuring you to have grandbabies. This is all about me and how to deal with the loneliness of not having children around who need me. No pressure here. No pressure! Love you my dear child!

Put HIM First and Foremost…

ocean with two birds walking on the sand...

You will lose nothing of value by putting HIM first and formost in your life…

Luke 9:23-24 If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it.

For those who lose their life for MY sake will save it…
For those who lose their life for MY sake will save it…

Forget about your ways and put HIM first….

Live the life HE wants you to live…
You will then live in abundance.

How do you do this in a household where your partner does not live the word?

To live in HIS word…
…is to always think of the positive
…of the other person
…of what you can do for others
…of being truthful and trustworthy.

If you live in a household of–negative, criticism, judgment…

How do you mix the two?
I don’t think they mix!

So what are the options…
To bury who you really are (a child of Christ, positive, loving, not judging, wanting to help others)…
To continue to try to ignore the negtive, critical, judgmental comments…

BUT if you bury who you are
…as many have done
…you lose who you are.

You lose who you really are…

I lose who I am…

You lose who you are…

You can’t wear a smile…
Rather it is hard to wear a smile….
A genuine smile…

“To follow Christ, you must follow daily.”
Daily!

How do you do it daily when others around you are not?

Others very close to you are not…

How do you break away?

Is it possible to follow HIM with your whole heart and life completely, when in a relationship where the two don’t walk the same path?

Have you ever struggled in a relationship where you both don’t have the same beliefs? Do you think it is possible to have an intimate relationship with someone who doesn’t carry God in their heart when you do?
 
 
Thanks for stopping by as I continue discovering the meaning of having Faith in my life! I hope you will find it in your heart to comment if you feel the words are there…

UGH, UGH, UGH

a-rainbow-is-God-looking-down-upon-us

UGH! I like that word when I am so frustrated I don’t know what to do.

Today has been one of those days of news…

My parent’s neighbors 2 year old niece drowned…
My Dad is having problems with his blood pressure (it’s very low)…
My friends husband is in the hospital with complications…
Another friends husband will be going in to have a Watchman device implanted in his heart…
Another friends dad has bladder cancer and will be having his bladder removed…
Sissy’s New Hubby will most likely be loosing his Granny tonight (as they remove all the life support)…
A twitter friend, Sarah Pinnix (@RealLifeSarah) put out a plea for prayer (not sure of her circumstances)

God, you have your work cut out for you tonight! There will be lots of praying amongst all my friends tonight. The great thing is:

      I know you are listening.
      I know you have a plan.
      I know you have lessons to teach.
      I know you will take care of our special people that go home to you.
      I have faith in all you do.

Pray! That is what I will do….

and then….

I will pray some more to be sure He knows how grateful I am for my health and the health of my family.

and then….

I will pray some more for all He has given me….AND FOR ALL THAT IS ON ITS WAY!

AMEN!

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