Would these be the words
I have needed to hear to change my life?
Yes, my life.
It wasn’t quite what I thought it would be like. Not at this age. Not with this man.
I thought it would be…different.
I thought I would be…happy.
I thought I had meant my Prince Charming.
Yes, I thought…
Until the day I moved in with him…
That is when things began to change.
I heard that this often happened with middle of life relationships.
I had heard that people change once they “get you.” Once the “chase” is over.
I had heard that but I am smarter then other women. I am intuitive. I read people well. I am not easily fooled. That won’t happen to me.
Well. It did happen to me. He changed the minute I moved in with him. He changed.
So this day Sissy and New Husband whom I call The Kids, knew they needed to tell me that they were expecting a little one. They thought I might need to know this. They thought it might help me with decisions that I needed to make.
Yes, I needed to make decisions.
I needed to decide if I was going to stay in this relationship.
I needed to decide if I was going to move out in the middle of no where to a cattle ranch.
I needed to decide if I was really in a relationship that I could embrace for the rest of my life.
I needed to decide if I wanted to move away from my children, away from my friends, away from the state of California that I have grown to love.
I needed to decide what I would do for a living.
I needed to decide what I wanted my role as a Grandmother would be.
Would I be a distant Grandmother that my grandchildren would see during the holidays and for summer vacations. Or…did I want to be a Grandmother that knew my grandchild really well.
A grandmother that would be there when needed.
A grandmother that made it a point to see their grandchild on a weekly basis.
I needed to decide…