Hello Up There!

Hello???

Hey, You up there!!!

Have you forgotten about me???

I thought when you pray that you are suppose to get answers?

Hello??? Are you listening to me???

I have been talking to you for a long time! I have even raised my voice a few times at you hoping you would listen.

Hellllllloooooooooo???
Old Rugged Door
I am ready for the next door. Why aren’t you opening it? Haven’t I learned enough lessons? What more do you have to teach me at this stop on my journey? Do I still have more lessons to learn here at this place? Can you please just teach them to me so we can move on, please? Pretty please with sugar on top?

I want the next door to open. Every door I have tried to open in the last two years won’t open.
Doors with Ristas
Why is that? I am not choosing the correct door? Ok, I am not getting it! I am not seeing the door you want opened. I need a hint. No, I need you to put it directly smack in front of my face so I see it. So I see it so clearly that it will be impossible to miss.
Old Red Door
Yes, I know, I like doors but only pictures of doors …not figuratively to keep trying to open for my life path.

They say when one door closes another opens. I believe that has always been the case in my lifetime. The door has always opened immediately. What are we waiting for this time? In my eyes, it is taking way too long to get the next door open.
Doors- Santa Rosa, NM Church
Wait! I think I might get it now…

In the past when one door closed another opened almost immediately because I had faith! I had faith that you were in charge and had a plan for me. I believed that when something bad happened that it gave me strength and wisdom to help others in the future that may be going through the same situation that I had gone through. I had faith that you would take care of me and help me make the best decision possible.

We had a strong relationship. I shared your love. I had trust. I had faith. I believed.

Is the lesson that you have been trying to teach me over the last couple of years that I can’t move forward without that love, trust, faith and belief? Is that the lesson? Is that what you have been waiting for in order to allow me to move forward to the next place on this journey?
Santa Fe Courtyard Door
Ok. I got it now.

Ok. I will admit it here for the world to know.

I LOST MY FAITH!

It is not that I really LOST it. It is that I just put it way back on the back burner and forgot about it. I forgot to live by it every day. I got lost.

Lost in the poor me.

Lost in the what now?

Lost in the I can’t believe this happened to me.

Lost in the what was I thinking?

Lost in the why did I do that?

Lost, lost, lost, lost, LOST!

But the great thing is, I am no longer lost any more…

Well, I kind of sort of am! But now I am working on my faith again. Thanks to “My One Word” blog I have chosen my word for the year…faith. I have put the word in bold as my screensaver so every time I sit down at my computer I see it. (I also included the words joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion.)
Doors- St Helena Church
I have gone back to church.

Hello, up there! Can we please have a truce? I am admitting to you now that I have forgotten to have you in my life through my faith and trust in you. I am admitting to you that I have not been worshipping with others in your house. I am admitting to you that I will trust. I will believe.

What I want to say here “It is time for that door to open!” but I know what I need to say is “I am ready for that door to open when you think it is time.” That is hard to say and believe.

I have faith that the door will open when you are ready for it to open.

Thank you for your love, support, trust, guidance, compassion, generosity, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and compassion.
my-word-faith
This is my new screensaver!

Are you struggling with doors not opening?

He Gives Us Learning Experiences

I obviously haven’t learned what he wants to teach me yet.

He always has something to teach me. I have always been a good student. My belief is:

Through any turmoil that happens in my life, there is a lesson to learn. With that new lesson, there will be a time in the future that I will be able to help someone else that is going through a similar turmoil.

For example: When I got pregnant the first time. I was so excited to be having a baby. Everything in my life to that point was peachy king! All the pieces of my life just fell into place. I had a good job, a good husband, a nice house…
Cinderella

Then three months along, they told me the baby was dead inside me. I remember hearing those words over the telephone from the doctor. I still see the telephone on the wall in my little kitchen of my first house and picture myself as I heard those words. I slithered down the wall until I was lying on the floor in a pool of tears. I was devastated. My perfect world now wasn’t so perfect. I encountered my first road block to my Cinderella fairy tale.

Now what was I going to do?

I remember the first words that came into my head after the doctor’s news and my realization that it isn’t a Cinderella world.

“Pam, you will learn from this experience. You will take this experience into the future to help relate with many women who will loose babies. It is through your experience of loosing a pregnancy that you will be able to have empathy for others.

Ok!

Wait!!!

Hold on!!!

Stop Everything!!!

Where did those words come from?

Hello???

I know now where they came from. I didn’t know then.

After that experience, I started going to church with my husband and his family.

The loss of that baby was not only a lesson in you can’t have everything when you want it or you will be able to help other women in the future in a similar situation.

NOPE this was something bigger, this was a turning point in my life to really focus on God and Christian value.

Looking back at that moment, I know that God had and HAS a lot to teach me!

 
 

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