Hey, You up there!!!
Have you forgotten about me???
I thought when you pray that you are suppose to get answers?
Hello??? Are you listening to me???
I have been talking to you for a long time! I have even raised my voice a few times at you hoping you would listen.
I am ready for the next door. Why aren’t you opening it? Haven’t I learned enough lessons? What more do you have to teach me at this stop on my journey? Do I still have more lessons to learn here at this place? Can you please just teach them to me so we can move on, please? Pretty please with sugar on top?
I want the next door to open. Every door I have tried to open in the last two years won’t open.
Why is that? I am not choosing the correct door? Ok, I am not getting it! I am not seeing the door you want opened. I need a hint. No, I need you to put it directly smack in front of my face so I see it. So I see it so clearly that it will be impossible to miss.
Yes, I know, I like doors but only pictures of doors …not figuratively to keep trying to open for my life path.
They say when one door closes another opens. I believe that has always been the case in my lifetime. The door has always opened immediately. What are we waiting for this time? In my eyes, it is taking way too long to get the next door open.
Wait! I think I might get it now…
In the past when one door closed another opened almost immediately because I had faith! I had faith that you were in charge and had a plan for me. I believed that when something bad happened that it gave me strength and wisdom to help others in the future that may be going through the same situation that I had gone through. I had faith that you would take care of me and help me make the best decision possible.
We had a strong relationship. I shared your love. I had trust. I had faith. I believed.
Is the lesson that you have been trying to teach me over the last couple of years that I can’t move forward without that love, trust, faith and belief? Is that the lesson? Is that what you have been waiting for in order to allow me to move forward to the next place on this journey?
Ok. I got it now.
Ok. I will admit it here for the world to know.
I LOST MY FAITH!
It is not that I really LOST it. It is that I just put it way back on the back burner and forgot about it. I forgot to live by it every day. I got lost.
Lost in the poor me.
Lost in the what now?
Lost in the I can’t believe this happened to me.
Lost in the what was I thinking?
Lost in the why did I do that?
Lost, lost, lost, lost, LOST!
But the great thing is, I am no longer lost any more…
Well, I kind of sort of am! But now I am working on my faith again. Thanks to “My One Word” blog I have chosen my word for the year…faith. I have put the word in bold as my screensaver so every time I sit down at my computer I see it. (I also included the words joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion.)
I have gone back to church.
Hello, up there! Can we please have a truce? I am admitting to you now that I have forgotten to have you in my life through my faith and trust in you. I am admitting to you that I have not been worshipping with others in your house. I am admitting to you that I will trust. I will believe.
What I want to say here “It is time for that door to open!” but I know what I need to say is “I am ready for that door to open when you think it is time.” That is hard to say and believe.
I have faith that the door will open when you are ready for it to open.