Category Archives: The Journey The Journey. God’s journey. Change. Lessons learned. Mistakes made. Living. Loving. Crying Laughing. Just me.

birds chirping - listen - quote

Be Still and Listen

birds chirping - listen - quote

Peaceful morning….
Do you stop and listen…
I mean really listen….
Be still….

You don’t hear?

Be still….

I mean really still.

Don’t think about that computer.

Forget about what is going on with Facebook and Twitter.

Forget about the problems.

Forget about what you will do tomorrow.

Forget about all worries.

Be still….

You aren’t still enough…

You have to sit really still.

Do you need a q-tip to clean out your ears?

Stay in total silence…

The birds are chirping….

Feel the light breeze coming through the window?

He is waiting for you….

He is waiting for you to get everything out of your mind…

He is waiting for you to be totally present for him.

It may only be a whisper…

Stay in silence….

Be at peace…


He is here…



Are your ears ringing?

Be still…

“Be still, my dear child, be still. I am here with you. I am here for you. I have you in my arms. I want the best for you. I love you dear child. Trust in me. It will all be ok. It will ALL be ok. It WILL be ok. Trust. Have faith. Be still, and let me lead the way. Be still my dear child. I have tomorrow planned. Tomorrow is all taken care of. Trust. Be at peace. Trust. Feel my love for you, my dear child. Feel my love. I have got it figured out. I am King. I am your Father. Be still.”

He will talk to you. You have to listen…

Do you trust?

Let go…

And listen.

god answer prayers his way

It Has Been a Year Since I Left

god answer prayers his way

It has been a year since I left

A year since I left the relationship.

What did I accomplish this year?
Did I do God’s will?
Was this just all part of his plan?

His beautiful awesome plan!

When I said I was leaving the relationship, I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude to the people that reached out to me and opened their homes to me. People that I have known for years and others that I didn’t even know but had heard about me through mutual friends.

These people all believed in me. They were excited for me and the new life I was about to embark on. They were excited to see God’s hand in my life and the words that seemed to ring from everyone were:

PJ you are a good person. You know God and He will lead the way. You are strong. There are big things in store for you. You will find your way. You made the right decision. We love you. We want the best for you. We are here for you. Let people help you.

Let people help me? NO!! I am the one that always helps others! I am the one to bring the meals, to annoymously help others, to tithe, to share my gift of hospitality. To treat others to lunch or buy their coffee. I am the giver and I like that role! I like giving!

I am a giver! A giver!

Receive? Take? I don’t like this role at all! BUT….is this part of the lesson that God has taught me this year? The gift of receiving. The gift of being humble.

Is this just all part of God’s plan?

Is this all part of God’s plan. God’s beautiful wonderful plan?

He also gave me many more gifts this year. The gift of trust and faith. It is only with my trust and faith that I knew I could make it through the transitional year. Lots of trust and faith. Some days I would wake up and just pray, “God, help me just focus on the joy you have planned for me today knowing that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Knowing that I am a complete Mary Poppins perfectionist control freak! Knowing I am not in control but you, my Dear Lord, hold my life in your hands.

It was with those words and a few tears that got me through many days.

It was always amazing how God would work in my life those days. Those days when I woke up completely in despair turning to God for His love and with my trust and faith that God has a beautiful wonderful plan for me. For ME His child.

God has a plan!

When the sun went down on those days, I would realize that God held me tight all day. He stayed close to me and those days always were glorious.

I learned to turn more to God. That is a gift from Jesus! One of the many gifts I received this past year.

God has blessed me with the greatest joys

So as I reflect back over the last year, I realize that I may still not have the answers to some of the important questions I have about my life journey today. I still don’t know what I will really do to fill my savings account. I still don’t know where I am going to be living. I still haven’t meant my new husband. What I do know, God has truly blessed me with one of the greatest joys a woman could ever want…

And that joy is being closer to God. Closer to my Father. Closer to living the life that he has chosen for me to live. Oh, my God has blessed me.

It is exciting times! God is in total control of my life. He wants wonderful things for his children and how lucky I am to be one of His cherished children. The blessings are just beginning… God is remarkable! I can’t wait to share with you all the things that God has and is blessing me with.

With Faith…
With Trust…
With Hope…
With Belief…
Just knowing….

With just knowing that God is my God…Our God…Yours and my God…

Just knowing this….

I know in my heart…

I know that my life is about to unfold beautiful wonderul blessings…

All you have to do is have trust, faith and believe in God. I want to say that it is easy. But we all know that it isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to turn your life over. It isn’t easy to trust. It is sometimes hard to have faith through the trials and tribulations of life. It isn’t easy to pray, “God, today I give you control to show me your joy in today. Today I trust you that you know the best way for me. I know that you have a wonderful glorious plan for me. I know that through my trials and tribulations that you teach lessons. Dear Lord, today, I will walk where you lead me.”

That is not an easy prayer to say. It is hard to really believe. It is hard to not just take control and make decisions that may not be His will for us. But I know that this year has been my test to myself on how much faith I have in my Lord.

I am proud to say I made it through this year a much stronger woman. I made it through this year because I did have faith and I turned to God (almost) every day.

Let us see what tomorrow will bring…

Question to you…
If you have something that you are struggling with right now, do you have enough faith and trust to turn it over to God. Can you just say a prayer then take a deep breath and release the problem to God to handle? I encourage you to start small… Start with one problem…then eventually as you grow in your faith … you will be able to turn your life over to God and watch the blessings unfold.

As James Stewart would say, “It is a Wonderful Life!”

pigeon sitting on a ledge

It began with a vision board.

pigeon sitting on a ledge
Yes, it began with a vision board.

With a stack of magazines, scissors, a cork board and pins, one weekend during the Spring of 2007, I set off to put together a vision board.

College boy was watching sports on television as he often did during the weekends of his high school years.

College boy asked, “Mom, WHAT are you doing?”

“I am making a vision board,” I replied.

“A vision board?”

“Yes, a vision board. You should make one, too!” I said.

“I am making a vision board with all the things I want to focus on to manifest in my life. You should make one too! You want to be a pilot? Cut out a picture of an airplane and imagine yourself flying that plane. You want to get into Embry Riddle? Cut out the school logo and put that on your board.”

College Boy made his vision board. He got into Embry Riddle and he got his Private Pilot’s license, too! The vision board worked.

My vision board included:

  • A man with a beautiful smile wearing jeans and a denim shirt sitting in a log cabin looking out a window. Looking out across a vast open landscape.
  • A diamond solitaire ring
  • Horses
  • A happy couple walking hand in hand
  • The words: love, happiness, joy, together, laughter, etc.

I was visualizing meeting a wonderful man that was happy and with whom I could sit and cuddle with. A man that would ask me to marry him and we would love each other forever. We would have a life of love, laughter and happiness forever and ever. We would proudly walk hand in hand.

Now for the horses. I am not sure why I had included the horses on my vision board. I just knew at the time that they represented calmness to me. They represented a life away from the craziness of the city. I thought maybe I would like to go visit a dude ranch in Montana.

It was only a few months after I created my vision board that I would meet Mr. Rancher.
It was only a few months after I created my vision board that I would find out that I, too, had manifested the relationship that I had so desired and deserved! Yes, I deserved to be in a relationship.

Mr. Rancher wore jeans and often wore denim shirts embroidered with his brand above the shirt pocket.
Mr. Rancher had owned a cattle ranch in the past and was looking to own another cattle ranch. He was looking for a woman that would like the life of living on a cattle ranch. He was looking for a woman who wanted to be loved and cuddled. He was looking for a woman to live the rest of his life with. I was intrigued.

It didn’t take long before I was wearing that diamond solitaire.

It didn’t take long before Mr. Rancher purchased another cattle ranch. A place where we would call home. A place where we would share our love for one another and live a loving life full of happiness and love…

So I thought…

Words "I support you" on photo with pigeons on a telephone line.

Mom, I am having a baby.

Words "I support you" on photo with pigeons on a telephone line.

Would these be the words

I have needed to hear to change my life?

My life.

Yes, my life.

It wasn’t quite what I thought it would be like. Not at this age. Not with this man.

I thought it would be…different.

I thought I would be…happy.

I thought…

I thought…

I thought I had meant my Prince Charming.

Yes, I thought…

Until the day I moved in with him…

That is when things began to change.

I heard that this often happened with middle of life relationships.
I had heard that people change once they “get you.” Once the “chase” is over.
I had heard that but I am smarter then other women. I am intuitive. I read people well. I am not easily fooled. That won’t happen to me.

Well. It did happen to me. He changed the minute I moved in with him. He changed.

So this day Sissy and New Husband whom I call The Kids, knew they needed to tell me that they were expecting a little one. They thought I might need to know this. They thought it might help me with decisions that I needed to make.


Yes, I needed to make decisions.

I needed to decide if I was going to stay in this relationship.
I needed to decide if I was going to move out in the middle of no where to a cattle ranch.
I needed to decide if I was really in a relationship that I could embrace for the rest of my life.
I needed to decide if I wanted to move away from my children, away from my friends, away from the state of California that I have grown to love.
I needed to decide what I would do for a living.
I needed to decide what I wanted my role as a Grandmother would be.
Would I be a distant Grandmother that my grandchildren would see during the holidays and for summer vacations. Or…did I want to be a Grandmother that knew my grandchild really well.
A grandmother that would be there when needed.
A grandmother that made it a point to see their grandchild on a weekly basis.

I needed to decide…

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